I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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