it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
God gave him joint rollers for hands
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
