another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
50% drunk capacity currently
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
