He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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