We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
