Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
