sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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