I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize