Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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