honey bunches of taint.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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