I wanna passion pit in your ass
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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