No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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