i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
