I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
