New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
