how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She just used a chaser for red wine.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
