Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
