so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
