I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
