it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
