So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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