I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
