I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
