i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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