Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
