i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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