I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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