So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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