bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
