Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
