Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
