Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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