Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
