3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
