you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
be right there i have to get my cape
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
