I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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