Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
