he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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