Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
either way he was missing a nipple.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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