I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
