You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
