I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
