You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
