I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize