i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
