that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
