talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
This can only be settled by a dance off.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
