Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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