just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I will pee on everything he values.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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