All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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