Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize