Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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