I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
